Sigh

I feel messed up and wrenched inside. It’s like my heart is racing around doing upside down doodles. I wish it would all stop. I know that it’s my fault, that I run away from problems. I wouldn’t run away that long if it would be over after a while, but the truth is…it’s not. The more I run, the problem increases. Yet when the moment comes, I think that it will decrease when I run away again. But it didn’t. Then the circle repeats.
I suppose it’s my fault that I am this complete social failure. Okay.
Well the truth is, I’m not. I COULD be a socialite if I wanted to, but the thing is I just can’t. When the moment comes, I back out. When I open my mouth or move my hand to do the things I want to do, I’m stopped. It’s like I’m a puppet being controlled by the above.
I don’t understand why I’m capable of doing things, yet I’m unable to do them. It’s just really painful, and I think I feel like dying inside.

Parts of Life

Today I woke up at around 8:50 pm. Pretty amazing, huh? I could totally break the world record.
Then after that I did a little work on the computer on my Site Revamp. Ate lunch (Homemade Dumpings, Frozen Dumplings and shanghai noodles). After that Cindy came for tutoring. Basically for Chinese only. And then I continued working on the Site Revamp (Backgrounds section). Whilst watching Sydney White on Surf The Channel. Starring Amanda Bynes. It’s like a modern version of Snow White. I could say that it was pretty good. I’d probably give it 7/10. And then I went to take a shower. I also read around 2~3 chapters of The Host by Stephenie Meyer. I didn’t get much of it. I don’t know why, it was just really confusing. I’m thinking about returning it to PageOne if it sucks. And then I went back to the computer to work on the Site Revamp (Backgrounds section) AGAIN. Whilst watching Freaky Friday this time, starring Lindsay Lohan. I’m going
to go eat Dinner soon. I’m really hungry.

Well

Yesterday was a total failure due to some epic crap. My eye was either bitten by a mosquito or there was some kind of allergic reaction. Because my eye was completely swollen.

Today Cindy came for, you know, tutoring. We learnt Chinese, English, yada yada.
I don’t know why but I’m getting so tired these days. I can’t even work on the site revamp.

To be honest, I think I’m just procasinating. I’ve been on this revamp for 3 months. I feel totally guilty about it. I mean its not like I’m making that much effort into it. Perhaps because I keep sitting there and not doing anything productive.

Right now I’m just working on some link buttons for the site…
I really want a better layout. Because the layout doesnt work in IE. I think I would work better if I knew that after I finished all the content I would be prepared to launch the site, but no. Perhaps I should just buy a WP theme that looks nice. I don’t think my parents would really approve of that. Considering how this site was for me to harness my Web Design skills. WHAT TO DO??!?!?!?! Maybe ask for advice from some PHP ninja.

I’m so addicted to Plurking, it’s totally fun.
I SO WISH THAT MY SITE COULD FINISH THIS REVAMP!!!!!

Australian International Flu

The title isn’t actually related to any flus in Australia so just in case you thought that.
On one news I got accepted in to RCHK. Although I still have to apply for more schools. In this case, AIS (Australian International School). I went there yesterday and boy was that place crappy.

First of all, I had a bit of a flu in the beginning. The day before yesterday. My throat just hurted a lot so it wasn’t really that big a deal – kinda was but wasn’t, LOL.
So then I went to AIS with my mother. To do the exam + have interview.
The “students” / kids, whatever. Went up to the room on the 8th floor (sounds creepy). Inside we had to do the exam. And that place was FREAKING COLD. I kept sneezing and blowing my nose. And that punjabi teacher didn’t even bother to ask if I was cold or not.

Then it was the listening test. The punjabi teacher had a really bad accent. She’s prolly aboriginal. She has this indian accent mixed with an australian one. I mean one of them is bad enough. I couldn’t even hear a word she was saying. So that might’ve decreased the success score of my listening test.

And the interview – crap.
But I guess that wasn’t anybody’s fault. I’m just really bad at talking I guess. Although the questions she asked was a bit wide.

HER : Tell me about yourself
ME : Ummmmm. I’m 13……ummm, ummm. Yeah.

I don’t really have much to say about myself, now do I?

Exam

So my mom applied for Renaissance College, and I just took the Exam this morning. I actually love it there for some reason. It’s like I feel safe there, and it’s not like other schools. Even though it’s still ESF. I somehow feel that I belong, and that I won’t be left out. Even though there were many people of the same age as me (which I’m scared of). I actually felt comfortable in a school. First time in a long while.

The exam for it was okay.
Reading = About Parapsychology (Research of Paranormal things)
Writing = Writing a magazine / newspaper article about Teenager stress

I couldn’t really write too much with the Writing. Because I’m used to writing creative things. And I just couldn’t think of that many points for the topic I was given.

I really hope this time it will be a new start.
And that I’ll actually be able to make good friends.

Wake up not-call

I ended up going to 101 anyway yesterday. We were going to eat some shaved ice, but that shop was apparantly renovated and has become small. I went to PageOne after that, I bought Pretties and Specials. They had Extras too but we didn’t know if Hong Kong had it cheaper. Since I bought Uglies at Hong Kong and it was only 62 HKD and in TW it’s 80 something HKD for the Pretties and Specials one. Which was weird. Besides my mum has discount at PageOne in Hong Kong.

After going to 101 we took the Taxi to Sintari. Which is a Japanese restraunt which has the looks but doesn’t have the books. LOL idk what kind of lame phrase that was, but all Im saying that it was amazingly beautiful there but the food was just okay. Everything was pretty much raw, which is not good news. Because raw food is kind of gross in my opinion.

Arrived at Taipei

I’ve just arrived at Taipei from Hong Kong. I’m living in Sherwood Hotel. I just ate a really bloating lunch at the mall. I ate Fo Wo. Now my belly is feeling really full. Right now I’m back at the hotel, and just had a big poooop. LOL. Using the laptop right now, which has Vista. But it’s really hard to type with this keyboard.

I think I’ll be going to 101 later. Which is the really tall building in Shanghai. It is 101 stories high. Speaking of STORIES (not that kind of story). I really want to go to page one to buy the next book in the series of Uglies by Scott Westerfield. It’s calld Pretties. I just finshed Uglies on the plane. It was amazing.

Its pretty boring right now without a book or my NDS. But at least I have the internet.